so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
