In the future we'll all be gay
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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