The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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