We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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