And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
