so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
