With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
