Michael Bay diarrhea
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
