u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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