Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
