Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
