went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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