i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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