she woke up with a sticky ear
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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