FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
