I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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