you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
how drunk are you?
Several
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
