do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
