Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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