To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
