yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
