I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
