we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
