thus making me awesome and them whores
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
