It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
