had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
