I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
