His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
