he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize