Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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