Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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