A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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