She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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