I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
