Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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