Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
