windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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