that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
