Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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