My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
