Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
