did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
