if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
