Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
