she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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