So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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