she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
