She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
