Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
