Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize