Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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