her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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