big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
