somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
FUCK WHALES
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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