How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
