Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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