I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
