Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
