Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
