Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
