C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
