Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
