Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
