Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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